It was around midnight and we caught up over a burger and coke. I have to say, it looked as if we had interrupted a tech hackathon mixed with a chess club and a nerd camp…..not at all what I would have expected for a Saturday night in a capital city.
By this point we were shattered as we slid back into the car and made the journey ‘up the hill’ to our hosts’ house in Cartago. This was in a gated community that was about a 45 minute drive at that time of night. We were made to feel very welcome as we were shown to our rooms by our hosts, but not as much as their dog, Daisy.
She is just a puppy and she was so excited to have three new guests stay that she promptly pissed all over. How cute. We did offer to help tidy up, but, to be honest, we were so tired that I think we would have waded through it in stockinged feet to soak it up and get to bed, so we were politely excused and slept the sleep of an exhausted traveller.
We were woken by a wall of muggy heat and busy life outside. As I looked out of the bedroom window there were lush green mountains all around us and it looked like I was in an advert for fancy coffee, such was the depth of vegetation all around us.
JP and Natty had prepared a lovely breakfast for us. It wouldn’t be the last Gallo Pinto that we would be sampling over the coming weeks, but this was up there with the best of them……the first ‘proper’ meal in two days, washed down with lovely coffee and followed up with delicious fresh fruit.
We then loaded up the car and we were on the road again!
I am not great at details, nor decision making, so JP and Natty had taken care of the agenda for the two weeks. They had booked us into a hotel on the Pacific Coast, a 6 hour drive from Cartago, but only about 170 miles away, so an average speed of just 31mph. The roads were not at all like they are in Europe and you don’t see too many ‘fancy’ cars outside of the city centres, as the roads would literally beat them to death!
We broke the journey up with a quick stop at a little roadside café at Miremar in the province of Puntarenus. We had lots of deep fried snacks, mainly forms of yuca, and welcomed some traditional Costa Rican snacks; coconut fudge or cajeta de coco.
Then it was back into the car and the jet lag soon kicked in, so it was sleepy heads that bounced on the windows all the way out west. We arrived, dazed and confused at the Riu Palace Hotel at Playa Mata.
Now, let me be clear, if I had been in charge of booking, we would NOT have picked this place. It was luxury to a level that I had only ever seen on business trips. The hotel was both huge and immaculate and no sign of any riffraff at all (apart from me). After a little initial confusion, where our rooms were not perfectly clean, we were very quickly shepherded to new rooms.
We had a grand bath in the middle of the room and a balcony with perfect views of the perfectly manicured gardens and lush green mountains cupping the hotel towards the Pacific Ocean below us. We had branded spirits hanging from optics in the room and a fridge filled with mixers and beers aplenty. There was no need for the kids to hide their underage drinking as our wristbands allowed unlimited branded drinks from the various bars around the hotel.
We showered, shaved and rested up and then made our way down to dinner in the sprawling dining room at the top of the gardens. Now, if you have been to a standard all-inclusive resort around Europe, you kind of have a feel for what they are like. Imagine that but with all of the food being at a very high level, not a discount all you can eat buffet. Honestly, I think I had the finest slice of roast beef I have ever tasted, it was that good.
We waddled up the fancy staircase to take seats at the bar and set off on a few hours of absolute carnage. I think we must have had about 20 drinks each. We had different types of tequila, mojitos, vanilla vodka, vodka martinis, Chiuliguaro (a spicy shot made with sugar cane based liquor called Guaro and hot sauce), blowjobs, Miguelito’s (coconut milk and Guaro), Baileys, Pina Colada, Daiquiris and Cuba libras. I don’t think we had more than two of each drink type…..and not one lager.
Unsurprisingly, I can’t really tell you too much about what happened for the rest of the day, but this was the longest 72 hours of my life and I was happy that sleep hit me comfortably and quickly! I am not sure I can take another 13 days at this pace!
Itchy Feet and Titchy Feet 